Integrative Childbirth Services

Integrative Childbirth Services

"Bringing Knowledge and Compassion to YOU"


Expectations, are they realistic?

Posted on September 5, 2015 at 5:20 PM


We all have them, but are they realistic and have they been communicated?  If not, are you setting other up to fail you!?!

As new parents you have "hollywood" visions of what life will be like with your new baby.  Everyone dressed in white, baby snuggled blissfully in your arms, the window dressings blowing in the gentle wind of the window that overlooks the meadows... raise your hand if this actually applies to you?  SHOCKING not very many will raise their hand, because it's fantasy.  The reality is having a baby requires patience, realistic expectations and probably an additional village to help you to raise your baby.  

Then hire a Postpartum Doula and be sure to communicate your needs.  Otherwise you may be disappointed.  Is it sleep that you desire?  A shower? A warm meal as a couple?  Help with learning babies cues? How not to have baby sooth ONLY at the breast?  For each family these expectations are different.  You and your support person can make this time near to the utopia described above, with just a little communication.

If you have a Birth Doula, what you think you need and what you may end up needing may change... in the moment do your best to find your words.  During the interview be sure to explain your expectations.  "I will need you in early labor", "I may need you to be my primary support person", "I love touch, this is what I want all throughout labor", if you don't communicate these things during the interview, the Doula may not know what she's signing up for and she may disappoint.  The honest open communication can help families determine what Doula is BEST for them.

Doulas, please LISTEN!  Studies have shown almost every single person listens to respond!  Don't listen while thinking of what YOU want to say, listen to what the family is actually saying to you.  Hear the words!  If you have taken my training you know this is instrumental in improving your Doula skills.  If you hear what the family is saying and you don't feel you can achieve those expectations, please refer them to another Doula.  Don't compromise your business practices in exchange for a disappointed client.  Everyone wins when there is honest - open communication.

Build your community!  Set yourself and your support up for success!

Read more in the most recent CAPPA Connection

Categories: Expecting Families, Birth Professionals

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